Famous Funny Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.A famous funny Quote by Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
A famous funny Quote by Albert Einstein
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
A famous funny Quote by W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
A famous funny Quote by W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
A famous funny Quote by W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
A famous funny Quote by W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
A famous funny Quote by W. C. Fields
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
A famous funny Quote by Benjamin Franklin
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
A famous funny Quote by Zsa Zsa Gabor
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
A famous funny Quote by Samuel Goldwyn
For your information, I would like to ask a question.
A famous funny Quote by Samuel Goldwyn
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
A famous funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
A famous funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
A famous funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
A famous funny Quote by Katharine Hepburn
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
A famous funny Quote by Alfred Hitchcock
The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.
A famous funny Quote by Dustin Hoffman
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
A famous funny Quote by Bob Hope
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
A famous funny Quote by Bob Hope
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
A famous funny Quote by Victor Hugo
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
A famous funny Quote by Stephen King
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
A famous funny Quote by Henry A. Kissinger
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
A famous funny Quote by Henry A. Kissinger
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
A famous funny Quote by Henry A. Kissinger
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
A famous funny Quote by Hedy Lamarr
You're only has good as your last haircut.
A famous funny Quote by Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
A famous funny Quote by Fran Lebowitz
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