Funny Quotes
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?A funny quote by Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
A funny quote Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
A funny quote Fred Allen
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
A funny quote Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
A funny quote Fred Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
A funny quote Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
A funny quote Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
A funny quote Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
A funny quote Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
A funny quote Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
A funny quote Woody Allen
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
A funny quote Saint Augustine
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
A funny quote Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
A funny quote Dave Barry
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
A funny quote Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
A funny quote Robert Benchley
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
A funny quote Yogi Berra
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
A funny quote Yogi Berra
I never said most of the things I said.
A funny quote Yogi Berra
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
A funny quote Josh Billings
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
A funny quote Josh Billings
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
A funny quote Josh Billings
Never have more children than you have car windows.
A funny quote Erma Bombeck
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
A funny quote Erma Bombeck
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
A funny quote James Brown
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